Jan 1, 2012

Now playing ; MGMT - time to pretend

Guess what is the most annoying things ive been through today?There is a cat poops outside my house near to my kitchen and it can be smell near at the sink....everytime I want to clean all of the dish,the winds will bring in that poops smell into my nose....It was the most horrible cat poop smells ever....!!It is two days that poop stays but I don’t know why it still smelly...It will never cross my mind to take a look to that poop...I will NEVER do that.....seriously GROSS!! I have to stop breathing for a while and wash everything fastly and then run away from the kitchen and take a deep breath....HAHA..I laughed hard when my mom asked me is there is a poop under this sink?and she did such a funny smelling face that makes me laughing even harder....Okay,I don’t want to talk about this anymore..It makes me want to take a bath again...euwrrr
Anyway...,there is something that I feel proud of... finally ive move on...I don’t know where is this strength came from and its suddenly changed all of my bad mood....I’ve been trying to forget him in this 3 years before, all I get just tears but now, I can let him go and set myself free without any tears to waste....I don’t blame him for anything at all...thats all just my fault..I’m in love with a stranger n I shut my eyes from seeing any guys around me...before this,I just see him in this world..for me he is the only guy exist in this world...I was so stupid before..All I know he was special than any guy cause he was sick....we met in really halfway..we know each other by my bestfriend and we communicate through her too cause she was a friend of him...we don’t  even meet face to face yet but I told myself he is the last for me and I will wait for him for how many years he want...but that is just so stupid thought....I can even believe I did such a ridicolous things like that...sometimes I wondering myself is this just a ‘monkey love’ or else....
But this doesn’t mean I’m giving up to him...I moving on because i just want to let all of this pain away from me cause I forgot to love myself first when I’m in love with him...i forgot to find my own happiness and just living in a dark box in loneliness crying for this feeling...I didn’t hate him at all and this is for my own good...Ive my own life to fight on..ive dreams to catch on..why must I giving up in life earlierly and keep placing myself so down just because of this feeling?Ive been thinking about this for a day..Tak mati pun kan..maybe someday or somehow Allah will make us meeting each other...I didn’t dare to planning anything about us...what will happen next on us..... because I believe Allah will answering all of this oneday and give us the best opinion in life...there is no point to wasting your tears for love...everything has been written..everyone will get their happiness ending..no one deserve to live in pain for their whole life..believe me,NO ONE....! for girls who has been hurt out there,make a try to move on...It feels so great..I can smile and laugh without tears hiding in it not like before....Don’t find love,just let love find you...Insyaallah everything will go on right....:D