Now playing ; The Script-if you could see me now

It has been a while I don't updated  my blog..Actually,this month is SPM examination..I have three papers left starting this monday, but damn ftw I can't study..I could just hang on in just like five minutes studying and then get out from my room to watch tv,eat or do shit things..Tv programmes sucks in this school holidays..nothing could be watch but still I couldn't understand myself why do I still watch the tv and force myself to watch it??It's damn bored even the astro channels too..But anyway,I have done my best in the other papers before axcept 'HISTORY'..I swear I was annoyed with the chapters that came out in the exam weren't the one that I had expected..I've done sucks in that paper but I badly hope I will get A for History.. -__-

Owh,anyway,this world has been terrifying me since the last two days...In my place,we had to face bad weather..It always raining here everyday and of course the horrible thunders had stabbed the earth heartlessly (*cehh) like just so near to my room window to days ago(two days straight)..I was lucky because my mom and my siblings were home so I ran downstairs with them until the storms ended...I felt like this world will die soon..you know,you watch news everyday there were earthquakes,flood everywhere and the newest,Argentina were in flood..It's a pity to see them had to faced that kind of situation..hope god give them mercy.

Okay,recently I have a bad addiction with fashion again..blame this website they kill my brain lookbook.nu ! I'm much influenced to be skinny since now on..You know girls there looks perfect in fashion because they are skinny..Skinny means perfection to me..So from now on, I will start torturing myself with exercises and stop eating rice and replace them with bread..I go with this idea because I have a friend who looks like an aneroxian..I don't know her well because she is a 'secret keeper' kind of girl...She doesn't open minded even with her close friend..She was my enemy once..hihi..She didn't eat rice at all for her whole life..she just eat bread and her body I swear look so skinny..and yah she's inspiring me!

okay gtg..xoxo

Wait a minute,what do you guys think about Liam's new hairless look?haha x

Now playing ; The Wanted-Replace your heart

Last Thursday ago was the best birthday I ever had in my life..!!I thought it would be the worst day ever like I used to have on my every birthday day...I didn't expected something extradionary happened to me on that day.I felt so touched when all of my classmate sang me happy birthday on English class,when my crush wished me happy birthday which I didn't expected he would did that,when my mom treat me nicer and brought me to Secret Recipe to celebrated my birthday and it was the first birthday day I didn't feel down...I knew it wasn't a long-lasting happiness but it's okay.Unless it was the best present ever that god had gave to me.'Happiness' on a day...:')But everything turned upsidedown when I logged in my fb...I'm so stupid!!!I thought my wall will full of birthday wishes from my friends,my mates or whoever they are so I got online to thanks them and damn I'm so broken when there's no birthday wish.AT ALL!I felt unwanted,pointless to them...There's no one remember my birthday...I know sometimes I can't controll my emotions and just let them get over me..That's why world keep punishing me because I'm bad...I'm heartless..I'm stupid...I'm ugly...I don't deserve to be happy..........like there's no place on earth for me right....?I've sensed hate from my friends and ppl around me long time ago but I didn't trust it and let that kind of thinking away from my mind..and now I get paid............I'm so alone now....I don't want to trust people anymore.....I don't even want to look back anymore..guys....if you hate me why should you hide it and acting infront of me?Just walk away from my life.....let me go through this painful life alone........I'm so sorry cause I walked in to your life and ruin everything..I'm so sorry for my existence on your life....I used to be alone and I guess It's okay now if you guys walk away from my life...cause I'm fucking used to this.....sorry xx

                

Omgtf TW made a song about stuff that I'm fucking addicted with that is VAMPIRE <3 Omg I'm in love with this song..but I want to criticize a things about this video..

1)I think this video director shouldn't ever let the girls kiss and flirting with my baby boys

2)I think the one who badly should take the vampire character should be the boys not the girls..I bet Tom will look even more cuter and Siva will look even so sexy!They badly should take the vampire character!

3)I freakin hate the part when the boys walking together with the girls!Don't ever think I didn't see what Siva was doing right there..He's carrying the girl!omgtf I HOPE THAT GIRL WAS ME!!

4)Siva!lets cuddling! :P

Now I think I'm late to cook for my brothers..lol..And I typing two post for today..teehee..just wanna tell that

TWILIGHT BREAKING DAWN PART 2 WILL BE RELEASED IN 16 NOVEMBER WHICH IS I GOT SPM EXAMINATION THAT TIME..URGH KILL ME!!I JUST CAN'T ACCEPT THE TRUTH!!!

Now Playing ; Allstar Weekend-Be There

It's the old version of Zach hair.yup that hair is so ugly but now he soooo damnnn cutee!!I'm just a little lazy to upload it...

Just wanna tell ya that I've a crush on Zach Porter and Cameron Quiseng back!lol.I've been too busy and always been too busy in my life..Okay..the heck I'm sayin....I'm now so in love with any guy with abs..abs abs abs abs..They're so cute and hot!! ♥.♥ I'm gonna put "Marry a hot guy with abs" on my life wishlist.LMAO XD .Yeah,I suddenly remember that it has been so long I didn't updating my blog...So yeah,today is 5June2012 and we in here are in the second week of school holiday..I have to quick typing cause I've promised my two brothers to cook them Garlic Bee hoon Soup..Yumm! Okay.Recently,I've a big big trouble about my appetite..I think this is so serious because suddenly in this school holiday I've a super big appetite..I eat every minute I want and I can't stop before I really full...It's HORRIBLE and GROSS...I had a "food drunk" everytime I finish eating..It's really gross everytime I try to remember how it does feel when I'm full.. ;P' How silly I am!Opss no,HOW SILLY MY TUMMY ARE!

Holden Nowell.My latest crush.Lol...:* HUG MEE BABY!!!

I've been thinking to get a try to have an eating disoder.Yah it sounds stupid but unless If I take that decision I will lost my weight everyday..not gaining everyday like how I am right now!bleh!! But then I think that eating disoder even horrible like having "food drunk".....So now,I'm lost in my own decision..haha..

So here the saddest part I want to tell..recently,I felt like I'm abandon by everyone.I felt like nobody wants to stay in my life any longer,they seems like don't want to be any part of my life anymore.I feel like this everyday so that's why I'm scared to say any word to people again even looking at them...I'm now not brave enough to get a long with people.I just feel save having my own life that I called "my own world"..Sometimes I felt tired to be scared to think that every action I did will make who will hates me and who will stay with me..I'm tired to play this world silly game!I'm seriously tired.But I have to keep going because I'm in reality..I'm in the real life..That's how it goes...You hurt then you have to stand back,If you don't,Then you'll stay down....

Diana Vickers - The Boy Who Murdered Love

THAT'S MY SEXY BOYFRIEND IN THERE.AWW <3

Now Playing ; Vampire Weekend-campus

Do you ever feel so down?Its hardly to explain my feelings right now..I've been through a lot of hard times and it keep coming on me over and over..Im truly can't stop it,I can't change anything to get the smile on my face again...I used to cry hard in my bedroom when there is no one at home..I would do anything to bring out the painful tears on my eyes.Its just like I can't stand this kind of life any longer..It hurts and killed me slowly...and yeah,I didn't tell anybody at all about my condition right now 'cause I know nobody will understand and nobody will willing themself to keep listening on me...I'm preety sure about it 'cause I've tried to do it before and it proved nobody does care...ouh ya how could I forget?I LIVED IN A HEARTLESS PLANET.

And my life is kinda lost right now.Recently, I found out something that really shocking me..It is about my friends,I mean people that I used to be proud of,the person who I used to tell on every single day that I miss them,the person who I used to call my happiness.I really want to thank them so much.Now I know where I stand on them.They don't even care what I'm struggle on right now,they don't even want to try to realize my pain and they clearly don't care.I felt like a fool , I felt so embarrassing..There is so many thing going through my head right now..It's too long they confiusing myself..I feel like Why the fuck I don't realize about it years ago?Why should now?? Why should now I deeply can understand the meaning of 'friends' ??I dare to show this post even if I know someday or somehow one of them will accidently found this post.Mybe my reaction is kinda mean but I do this because I don't want to be blame on my words.I mean like come on,how long they would realize their mistakes if only me who always be the person to be blame?

Its still hurting me because from now on,there is nobody will standing on my side.I hate my life and my friends are the most important person in my life.They just like my spirits to keep going in life.I've nobody now.How about people at home?ahahah XD .Nahh..they 28637253725367 times never stop crushing my life.Everything so miserable here.That's why I really want to be happy like any girls out there.I badly want to feel a smile without feeling pain on my chest.I really want to be a girl who deserve to be the real girl........