Do you ever feel so down?Its hardly to explain my feelings right now..I've been through a lot of hard times and it keep coming on me over and over..Im truly can't stop it,I can't change anything to get the smile on my face again...I used to cry hard in my bedroom when there is no one at home..I would do anything to bring out the painful tears on my eyes.Its just like I can't stand this kind of life any longer..It hurts and killed me slowly...and yeah,I didn't tell anybody at all about my condition right now 'cause I know nobody will understand and nobody will willing themself to keep listening on me...I'm preety sure about it 'cause I've tried to do it before and it proved nobody does care...ouh ya how could I forget?I LIVED IN A HEARTLESS PLANET.
And my life is kinda lost right now.Recently, I found out something that really shocking me..It is about my friends,I mean people that I used to be proud of,the person who I used to tell on every single day that I miss them,the person who I used to call my happiness.I really want to thank them so much.Now I know where I stand on them.They don't even care what I'm struggle on right now,they don't even want to try to realize my pain and they clearly don't care.I felt like a fool , I felt so embarrassing..There is so many thing going through my head right now..It's too long they confiusing myself..I feel like Why the fuck I don't realize about it years ago?Why should now?? Why should now I deeply can understand the meaning of 'friends' ??I dare to show this post even if I know someday or somehow one of them will accidently found this post.Mybe my reaction is kinda mean but I do this because I don't want to be blame on my words.I mean like come on,how long they would realize their mistakes if only me who always be the person to be blame?
Its still hurting me because from now on,there is nobody will standing on my side.I hate my life and my friends are the most important person in my life.They just like my spirits to keep going in life.I've nobody now.How about people at home?ahahah XD .Nahh..they 28637253725367 times never stop crushing my life.Everything so miserable here.That's why I really want to be happy like any girls out there.I badly want to feel a smile without feeling pain on my chest.I really want to be a girl who deserve to be the real girl........
