Years by years and days by days passing over.Bad things,good things ended to be a memories.2011 will end soon....So many regrets I've done,so many tears I've threw away,so many bad things I did...It doesn't matter anymore,I will try to change,I will try to accept what happened...I will be a good an a usefull girl that my friends will never have in their life.I admit.I've lost them by my side...I can't hear those dramas we guys always make anymore...I miss their sounds of laugh,tears and happiness from them..
Last saturday night ago ,I cried again, but this time I can't sleep..Everytime this thing happen I will grab my old diary that I wrote when I was 13 until 14...So many stories I didn't remember anymore....The only part that I crying back was when I read about my bestfriend.....Now I know,actually she left me behind..that's why she rather going out with her friends and not with me.I love her so much..I fight for this relationship for almost 4years..I'm not the person who easily to forget people I love.I feel like I lost my strenght now...
She is a complicated girl...I can see her eyes keeping so much secrets,she didn't like to share her problems and rather to be a listener to us.But, I trust her so much,I never heard her complaining about a small things,I never heard she judging people..but.................................:( she didn't like being my friend.Everyone thought we were a bestfriend cause we are too close..they don't know the truth...I just suck up my argument to her,shut up and watch her drama....she is really good at acting...I'm just a bad influence to her...she said she wanted to stay away from me because of that...That was so so so hurt!! when a bestfriend hurt you it was like more hurtful than to be hurt by the other ppl..people you trust,people you always miss,people you afraid to lost betraying you at back...
I know we were too far right now cause we're not in the same school anymore..you changed...why should me??bestfriends are everything, now you make me hard to give my trust to people eventhough to my own friends...you make me cry and disappointed for the second time....If this what her want,I will try to shut up and be nice to her cause I love this long friendship we created.Sometimes we couldn't get what we want,what we wishing for because the things that we already got are much better if we appreciate it and understand what we got..I miss you for my whole heart eventhough you don't, my barbie gurll :(
